France Rant 1: Bureaucracy

OK, I've tried to keep my blog fairly positive, but now I've come to a point where I just have to rant a little bit about the French. Sorry.

Before I blast into them, I would just like to say there are some things I love about living in France. Delicious baguettes for example...cliche, I know, but also true. Nothing like getting some damn fine artisan bread hot out of the bakery oven for less than a euro.

I also enjoy being able to buy a decent bottle of wine for 2-3euros. And the general culture that revolves around eating good food and drinking nice wine. All big plusses to la vie francaise.

Par contre (but, on the other hand), there are some really annoying things. Mainly the bureacracy and the fact that there is no such thing as customer service. Here, the customer is always wrong.

My first run-in dealing with French inefficiency (on a grand scale, not just the fact that it takes 30 minutes to get your food at McDonald's, totally defeating the point) has been over the last few weeks while I anxiously waited for my handball license from the French Federation. Whereas the US Olympic Committee was exceptionally fast and diligent, receiving all of my paperwork and filling it out and returning it the same day (thanks Mike!), the French took their time. In fact, it was almost four weeks before I heard anything from them. And the result? License denied!!!

My freaking license was denied because I didn't have my carte de sejour, which is the document that declares I am a temporary resident (for a year). So, I went in search of my carte de sejour. Even though we checked with the French Federation before and they said all I needed was my visa. Liars.

So, I arrive at the prefecture with every piece of paper I could possibly need, with 5 copies each. The prefecture is kind of like the Los Angeles DMV- a billion people there waiting to see a few pissed off bureaucrats who have no qualms about stepping outside for some coffee, a cigarette, and a 15 minute conversation despite huge lines and only two other people "working." You can spend your entire day at the Prefecture only to be told you are missing some inane piece of paper and will have to come back.

Luckily, after only waiting a few short hours I was told that since I was a student, I should go to the "Maison Etudients" to file my paperwork. So, I went about trying to find that building and then standing in line there. And of course, comme l'habitude (as usual), I didn't have everything I needed. I was missing a copy of the backside of a driver's license and, oh yeah, something that proved I had 1300euros in an account in France.

So, I spent the next two days collecting more random pieces of paper that they might want, and the things I was missing before. THey told me to bring 2 stamps, but I bought a booklet just in case. And an entire packet of enveloppes (even though they said to bring 1). I went to the bank to deposit the cash I pulled from my American account, and then the shit hit the fan. I asked for a copy of my statement to prove I had the money in my account, and they were like "sorry, it takes 1-2 days to get that."

I flipped. And I channeled my inner French person and refused to leave and pitched a fit until they got off their asses and did something to help me. They fought with me for 10-15 minutes before finally sitting down, opening the computer, and printing something that took 45 seconds to do. Seriously? And then they told me that I was lucky they were willing to make such an extraordinary effort on my behalf. Yeah, merci. Lazy asses.

So, with all of my papers in hand, I went back to file for my carte de sejour. And, a major miracle, I got it, on only the second try! Hooray! And thankfully I brought along the extra things, because I definitely needed 3 stamps and not 2, and also some papers they didn't ask for the first time. I'm telling you, they want all of this stuff, and they bitch if you don't have it, but they don't even read it or look at it if you do.

With that finished, I can only hope that the French Federation will unblock my license in time for me to play this weekend. I'm getting really anxious waiting!!