Je suis LAME-o

OK- so it has now been two weeks since I've arrived and I haven't really blogged much. And I can't really use the excuse that I don't have internet, because, well, I have internet...really REALLY fast internet. I guess that just leaves the lazy excuse. My b.

So, basically the last two weeks have been super busy, I feel like I've been here more than a month, I guess because I've just done so much.

To catch you up- I officially finished my first week of school, my first week of practice, have become settled in my new apartment, and have a whole slew of awesome new friends (which, I wish I could say are French, but most of them are international students like myself).

Last weekend I went down to the Cote d'Azur with 300 other students from school for a weekend of integration. Suffice it to say, French people are crazy. It kind of reminded me of a rugby party- a really really big rugby party, with free alcohol. You can imagine what kind of shenanigans could ensue. There was singing, jumping around on the tables at every meal, and of course lots of random hook-ups and people getting sick and passing out. Oh French people, you amuse me.

In between drinking, singing, dancing on table tops, and random hook-ups (not by me, clearly), there were games and sports. Saturday morning was like a giant field day at the beach- it was awesome. I don't mean to brag, but, I was the mud wrestling champion of the weekend. Representing USA, baby!! I also did quite well in the chicken fighting and fight someone for the rugby ball game.

Saturday afternoon I went on a VTT excursion (VTT= velo tous terrain= mountain bike). I learned that 1) I hate VTT and 2)VTT hates me. I will NEVER go again, and any self confidence I may have gained as the mudwrestling champion in the morning, went completely out the window as I began walking my bike down the "scary" hills an hour into the ride. I also have massive bruises all over my legs where branches snapped me in the legs, or I fell onto the bike pedals at high speed when I lost control after hitting a giant rock. Not sure what part of this is supposed to be fun.


But, a few hours in VTT hell paid off with a snack at the end- oranges, nutella on cake, and coca-cola. Seriously, after a snack like that I could almost forget that I had just had the worst two hours in recent memory.

Sunday was chill, I just hung around the pool and talked with my cool new friends. Good times, and then we headed back to Lyon Sunday night. The way home would have been pretty relaxed, but then I got bitten by an Assassin Bug that somehow got into my sweatshirt. It bit me during a dinner break, and I must say, it was the most painful bite/sting I have EVER had. Worst than any hornet or wasp. My shoulder swelled up and bled from the bite, but not to worry, I captured the bug to take home and research online, since no one knew what it was. Assassin bug = KILLER!!!! No really, they can kill other insects with their poisonous saliva that liquefies the insides of bugs. It totally liquified a small portion of my shoulder!


The first week of class was pretty intense. I am only really taking one course at the moment- Virology- which is about 16 hours a week (plus 2-4 hours of other random stuff like bioethics). There were a few days where I was in Virology like, 4-6 hours a day. Crazy! But it is REALLY interesting, and I'm really getting into all of the awful infectious diseases.

This week was also my first week at handball practice with ASU Lyon, a Division 2 team here. I was really nervous, but the coach is cool, the girls seem nice, and it feels great to be able to practice almost every day of the week. Practices are intense, but efficient. I am still trying to figure out exactly what they do on defense, and how to read the backcourts (what a disaster last week, I must have run into people like, three times), but I am looking forward to see things progress. I will have to wait until I get my "recipisse" from the French government before I can get my license to play, but I've heard it is pretty short in Lyon, so hopefully I'll be able to play some games in 2-3 weeks. We'll see.

That's my wrap-up! I will try to be better about updating my blog. There are other stories I want to tell- like about my bank card that I had for 45 seconds before it got taken away, and all of my fantastic new friends. Next time. Seriously, I'm going to try to stop being so lame about updating my blog.

Jen in France: Take 2

I'm here! Despite the long trip, I actually feel pretty good. I took a flight from LA to Dublin, Dublin to Paris, and then the train down to Lyon. I slept a little bit on the plane, but was functioning better than I expected when I arrived in France.

Not sure why, but all of the hotels were totally booked up in Lyon. I thought I would be able to just take one of the several places near the train station, but had no luck. Then it started to pour rain. By the time I found somewhere with a bed, I didn't really care that they had jacked the price up twice what the room was worth. Annoying, but after a full-day of traveling and being soaking wet, I really didn't give a damn.

I settled into the hotel, and woke up super early (yay jetlag! the only time I would ever wake up at 6am by myself) Friday morning, and took my time getting ready to go to the university for the first day of orientation and moving into my new place.

Things went pretty smoothly when I arrived at the school- they made my ID/security badge (you have to have it to open any of the doors on campus), gave me the keys to my apartment, and even hooked me up with a few students to show me around.

My new place isn't huge, but it is cute and super convenient (I even have a little balcony, how cute). I only have to walk about 50m to the classrooms and labs. Since the French love to start their classes at 8am, I figured it was easier this way than trying to find a place on my own downtown and having to commute everyday. I did that for a few months last year and wanted to die. Leaving the house at 6:30am to take two buses to school= lame. Plus, I was hoping being in the student apartments would mean that I could get to know some more students and expand my social circle a bit.




I met a few of the other international students, and some of the French students who were helping out during orientation. So far, so good, everyone seems nice and most of the French people here speak decent English. Always a plus.

Friday was a long day- I moved in, went shopping to buy essentials for my apartment (sheets, dishes, pots/pans and some food), and by the time the evening rolled around, I was EXHAUSTED, but really pleased about things.

Saturday was rainy, so instead of going out to explore my new city, I organized my clothes and my apartment, and relaxed a bit. It felt good! Other things that please me, include the fact that my apartment has super high speed internet and a bath tub. My two favorite things in life.

Sunday I am going to try to meet up with a new English-speaking friend, and then there is a soiree at the school to welcome the students back. Should be fun. The theme is centered around Lyonnais culture and food, which means I probably won't be able to eat much (it is all creamed and covered in cheese I think), but should be a good way to meet more people.

Also, on the handball side- the good news is that there is a gym in my building, with a handball court and goals, open until 2am every morning! That means I can take my ball and shoot at the goal whenever I want! Or whenever there aren't 20 people in there playing soccer :) That's fun stuff, and a weight room that is supposedly open 24/7. Haven't checked it out yet, but I will see if it has the stuff I need to keep up my viking workout program.

Yay France! My first two days have been pretty good. I'm looking forward to the next week of orientation at the school and hopefully starting handball practice (although I still don't have my handball clothes/shoes with me yet, they are still at a friend's place where I left them over the summer).

A most incredible piece of mail!

Today I got a very unexpected letter from Paris, and when I opened it, I found the contents of my wallet that was stolen in St. Etienne last February.

Unbelievable! It was mailed to me by the American Aid Foundation of Paris, who had received my cards (sadly not my nice wallet or obviously any of the money that was inside) from the US Embassy. I can't believe they made it back to me!

After my wallet was jacked, I filed a police report in St. Etienne but despite checking back several times, it was never returned. It was the most irritating thing to happen to me, after just moving to a new town, subsequently breaking my foot, and having to find a new apartment without money or ID. This random act of thievery nearly forced me to leave France, as it took me more than a month to try to sort out my bank accounts on both sides of the Atlantic, and survive on borrowed money while doing so.

Most of the things in my wallet were replaceable, but I can't tell you how happy I feel getting this letter and this stuff again! I think about how many people cared about getting these cards back to me- whoever mailed it from St. Etienne to the US Embassy in Paris, the people from the Embassy who decided to send it to the non-profit group American Aid, and the people there who- free of charge- mailed it all back to my house in California.

Wow, I guess that for every bad person out there (ie the person who stole my wallet in the first place), there are many more good people who want to do the right thing. This miraculous return of my driver's license, insurance card, student IDs and French bus pass has temporarily restored my faith in humanity!

Yay nice people! And yay for having duplicates of everything that I can now keep in a safe place in case my wallet is ever stolen again :)

A visa, a flight, and too many endorphins?

Well the fantastic news of the week is that I got my visa! Yayyyy!!! Although I was confident I had all of the paperwork I needed, I nearly did NOT get my visa because the French people didn't like the letter I had from the school (ie. my admissions letter). They read through it and were like "this isn't sufficient."

I couldn't believe it, since I had used the same letter to get my approval from Campus France (the annoying organization that you are forced to pay $150 to "check out" your university admissions). Not to fear, my extensive experience with French bureaucracy has taught me not only to bring 5 copies of everything, but also to bring every extra paper you can think of. Does the consulate ask for your high school transcript? I bring my grades from elementary school as well, because it is inevitable they will want to see your kindergarten transcript just for kicks. But anyway, being the prepared person I am, I pulled out another paper from my arsenal (which, PS, seemed to be to be completely useless as it was merely a printout of my online application to the school) but shockingly, it did the trick. Nothing quite as satisfying as seeing a French bureaucrat nod in approval at something they couldn't really care less about.

Also, my favorite thing about my visa is my newly photoshopped official passport-sized photo, which will also be used for everything else official this year. The french always want you to provide your own picture, for everything from your student ID to your train pass, bus pass, and even your grocery store discount card. I was glad I could photoshop mine into something cute that I won't mind seeing on everything. Not only did I save money by printing 12 copies of my official picture for 50 cents, but I also look good. I highly recommend DIY photoshopped-for-perfection multi-purpose passport-size photos, just for reference.

Anyway- with visa in hand, I was finally able to get my flight back to France, yay! I will leave on Sept 3, which will get me to France just in time for the new handball season to start, and to make it to my Master's degree orientation. Couldn't be better.

On the training side of things, I've been keeping up with my Kathy-designed weight lifting program (AKA "The Viking Plan"), and my French coach's delightful running program. All in all, I feel pretty good. Definitely in fighting form, although I realize that the transition from the track to the handball court will still be hard. I am kind of sad I left my handball in Paris accidentally and don't have a ball to practice throwing around at home. It might be a little more tragic than I would like in the beginning as I get used to throwing a handball after three months and a half months. Hmmmmm. I will try to use some sports psychology visualization techniques instead.

Overall, I'm really looking forward to going back to France; there are a lot of people I want to see, and the year seems filled with possibility. Despite some bad news on the Team USA front (apparently we are withdrawing from our international games this November due to lack of preparation as a team), I feel very motivated about everything I have going on in Lyon.

Oh, and as an aside, I find myself writing this blog post at 7:00am, which may make it seem like I have some kind of intense discipline that forces me to get up on Sundays and be productive- but really, it is just too many endorphins. I had a really hard run last night (too late, I guess) and despite staying up to watch USA basketball win a brilliant gold medal game and going to bed at 3am, here I am, wide awake a few hours later. Lame! This is the second or third time this has happened to me since starting my more hardcore running program. Hope this annoying side effect is somehow representative of me becoming a human machine, because it is ridiculously irritating for someone who is trying to relish as much sleep as possible before starting the "real world" of school and practice in one week!!

Hopefully I will fall back asleep until noon, at which point I will wake up, see a movie, do practically nothing all day and enjoy my parents home-cooked Sunday night grill-out. Until then, maybe I will dip into my cache of downloaded episodes of The Shield :)

Blisters, must be a good sign

After amping up my running over the last few weeks with some more intervals, I was starting to prepare myself for what would be some way more challenging pre-season workouts.

I've been working with my new coach in Lyon (via the internet, since I am still waiting for my visa), to design a new running program to help me keep up with what the team is doing now that they've started their official pre-season.

Before he would give me the program, he had self-administer some fitness tests to see where I was, and what I needed to do. I was actually dreading this, knowing that the endurance runs have always my weak point, but was pleasantly surprised with my results. Guess those interval runs were actually doing me some good.

Today was my first day on the new running program, and while it was definitely intense, I felt pretty good afterward. "Good" as in I wasn't completely dead and didn't vomit.

There was a real sense of accomplishment in pushing myself through a 45-minute running workout that I probably couldn't have done a month ago. I love progress!

Also helping my cause was when one of the other runners on the track stopped me to ask what my 100m time was. I laughed and said I had no idea, I'd only ever run 40m for time (on our national team fitness tests), and I didn't remember the results. He was like "well, I think you are really fast. I'd love to know your time, because you seem really speedy." Even if the guy is totally full of it, it made me feel good.

Even though I didn't have a lot in me at the end of the workout, I still felt strong and fast, and as I've realized in handball, the mental part is important.

I'm going to be really nervous to show up to my first practice with the girls in Lyon- D2 is a huge step forward. I just hope these intense workouts get me up to pace so I can at least be close to their fitness level, since their handball skills will be far superior. We'll see, it is certainly motivation to keep pushing myself!

When I got home tonight and took off my shoes, I realized that both of my feet were covered in blisters, with some nice blood blisters on the bottom of my feet. Since Kathy mentioned that her first week of pre-season in France resulted in everyone on the team having blisters, I knew it was a good sign. If you don't have blisters during pre-season, your not running enough. So, the good news is, it looks like I'm right on track (pun partially intended)!

We'll see how I survive the rest of the week, but I have a positive feeling about things. I have an appointment with the consulate on Wednesday, so keep your fingers crossed!

Getting ready for France

It has been a really nice summer so far. I spent all of June traveling through Europe with Clay and Rachel, made it back to LA by the first week of July after stopping through upstate New York VERY briefly. I also just got back from a week-long trip to North Carolina where I saw a bunch of my old friends for a wedding. Good times.

As you can imagine, all of this traveling, and well, just general relaxing, has not been keeping me in tip top shape. But, never fear, while I may not have touched a handball since the end of May, I have recently been hard at work on the Viking workout program, courtesy of my dear friend Kathy.

There have been a few stops and starts, but I am feeling pretty good, and am hoping that by the time I get to France in a few weeks, I will at least be in good enough shape that I won't embarrass myself. I keep my expectations fairly grounded- just try not to show up and get beaten by any of the goalies on the run. One part of me was thinking maybe I would try for a six-pack, but then the other part of me remembered that I promised to gorge myself on all of the foods that I missed out on all year in France.

My body was kind of freaking out at the beginning of the workout program, not just because I'd spent the last 4-6 weeks doing practically nothing (unless you count walking around the Balkans and the occasional bike tour/kayaking trip), but because I hadn't really lifted weights in a year.

I have probably mentioned this before, but the French just aren't loving "musculation." It almost doesn't exist; finding somewhere to lift in France is like finding a Chick-fil-A north of the Mason-Dixon line...good luck. On the plus side, not lifting very much in combination with running a ton (which the French like to do, despite smoking a pack a day) helps a girl get down to French weight. Still, as tempting as it is to lose 10 lbs, losing 10lbs of muscle just isn't as exciting.

So, my goal this summer was to get my strength back a bit so that I could try to maintain some muscle with body weight exercises when I got back to France. Strength has always been one of my more important qualities, so I'd really hate to lose that, especially at my position where the ability to overpower your defender can mean getting 2-3 more shots or penalties every game. Even as my strength wained over last season, it still helped my confidence to know that I was stronger than 90% of the girls who were trying to defend me. I may not have the same skill or experience, but I can definitely bring brute force to the table!

On the physical side, I definitely feel like I'm on my way to being ready to start the season. Paperwork-wise, which has seemed to play an even bigger role in my French handball career so far, is probably not quite up to snuff. I have submitted all of my papers for the visa, but am waiting on a "confirmation" from Campus France before I can make an appointment with the French Consulate to get my visa.

Campus France is a huge scam- despite the fact I already have all of the papers I need for my visa, including an acceptance letter from the University in Lyon where I'll be going to school, I am forced to RE-APPLY to school using this dumb website, and then pay them $120 to say that yes, you have received your admissions letter and you can apply for your visa. Scam.

So, right now I am waiting for the letter...I am kind of afraid to buy my plane ticket until I KNOW I have everything, since last year paperwork was drama for all three of us going to France. So we'll see, keep your fingers crossed that this year things go a little more smoothly on that front.

Other than that, I feel pretty calm about my "rentree" this fall in France. I feel like things will go much more smoothly the second time around, now that I know how almost everything works. There is only so much you can do to hurry the paperwork, but at least now I know what to expect when dealing with the French government. I also already have a bank account, a phone and a social security number. Yay for that! Oh yeah, and all of my stuff is already there, so hopefully traveling back will be a cinch.

For now it is just keeping up my fitness and getting myself mentally prepared to go back to the french-speaking world, where doing almost any task takes twice the effort. At least this awesome summer has me renewed and ready to face the challenges of a new year! And if all else fails- here is always Plan B...working on a farm in Australia?

Backpacking trip...

For those of you who didn't know, I spent almost 4 weeks backpacking through Europe with my brother and good friend Rachel.


Here is a link to the blog we kept during our trip:
www.jenbackpacking.blogspot.com

Foods I miss

I will be heading back to the US at the beginning of July, and as the time starts ticking, I'm starting to fantasize about all of the foods I want to eat. Some of these foods I used to eat all of the time, others I haven't had in years, but I just can't stop dreaming about them.

1) Mexican food- real, delicious, made in a restaurant by real Mexicans, delicious Mexican food. Salsa, guacamole, chicken tacos, rice and beans. Though I make a pretty good fajita in my own kitchen, its just not the same. I NEED Mexican food to have any quality of life.

2) Japanese food- I miss bento boxes at the Plum Tree in Ithaca or a yakatori combination with udon at Taiko in LA. I have supplemented myself this year by learning how to make my own sushi and tempora shrimp, but still...I miss a Friday bento box with my best buddies.

3) PF Changs lettuce wraps- I probably only have this two or three times a year, but it seems SO good right now.

4) Chick-fil-A- I long for a 12 pack of nuggets, waffle fries, and a lemonade. I will stop at every Chick-fil-A on the way from New York to North Carolina.

5) Indian food- can't find anything decent in France. Tried, and failed, to make my own curry and chicken tikka. Would kill for some masala chicken or a dosa from my favorite dosa place in Cary.

6) Japanese cook on the table- totally not authentic, but I LOVE japanese steakhouses, and will need to gorge myself on that at least three times this summer.

7) Schlotzkey's- as far as I know, the last one in existence is near the RDU airport. How I love a smoked turkey breast sandwich on sourdough with black pepper chips and a coke. Yummmmy.

8) American Coca-Cola- SO much better than European coke.

9) Rice crispy treats, chocolate cupcakes, and my mom's pineapple upside down cake. A million times better than some fruit tart in France.

10) SMOOOTHIEEEEESSS- I used to make at least one a day- they don't have blenders or frozen fruit in France. I will drink delicious smoothies everyday when I get home.

11) Whole Foods- I love everything about whole foods. Organic cereal, off the chain rice and noodle bowls, and just general delicious stuff made with high quality organic ingredients.

12) Waffle house- I don't even know where to find one of these, I haven't even eaten there in like 10 years, but for some reason waffles with some off the chain hashbrowns would really make my life complete.

13) Random cereals- like Lucky Charms, that I never eat but somehow feel the need to snack on right at this very moment.

14) Oreos and doritos. So bad, yet so good.

15) anything I crave whenever I want it, because the grocery stores are open 24/7.


America, I miss you!!! I will be home soon to gorge on your goodness!!!

FROST!!!!!

Since I was 8, I dreamed of becoming an American Gladiator. My brother and I used to watch that show every Friday evening while my parents were getting ready to go out (it was their weekly "date night" which meant my brother and I could sit in front of the tv all night eating pizza/spaghetti-Os and convincing the babysitters that our parents usually let us drink cokes and eat oreos in the living room).

For years, American Gladiator re-enactments took place in various locations including the rec room (Assault= shooting my brother with a nerf gun while hiding/jumping around furniture), the backyard (Power Ball= running around the yard with various balls while trying to avoid being tackled by the other), the playground (Hang Tough= fighting on the monkey bars, which resulted in many of my classmates broken arms in 5th grade), and any location good for some jousting with sticks or general wrestling.

So, now that the show has been resurrected by NBC, my childhood dream has been rekindled. It is my destiny to be on this show! Plus, I could totally rock one of those gladiator costumes, although I wonder if the TV producers would insist that I have a fake tan.

Sadly, I missed the Season 2 casting calls that took place earlier this year, but now I have time to get myself ready for Feb. 2009! Season 3, I'm going to dominate.

To get myself physically prepared, I have consulted the following website with helpful tips on gladiator training:
http://www.how2blogger.com/2007/12/06/how-to-train-for-american-gladiators/

I will also be recruiting my brother to spend the summer throwing tennis balls at me while I run around the park, and will maybe recruit the neighbors kids to hang on my legs while I try to cross the monkey bars. Not sure where I can find one of those giant hamster balls, but that will be on my summer to-do list too.

Any other training advice? What about my gladiator name? I'm thinking "Frost"- cold and deadly, she'll sneak up on you and cause you to lose your appendages if you're not prepared!!!!!!

First weekend out- 8 on the L'AE index

OK- so now that I've explained L'auberge Espagne, I've decided to rate my France experiences on an L'AE index. 10 being like, straight out of the movie super duper cool, and 0 being like, my life sucks and I wish I was back in Cortland, New York, where at least I had real friends and the $7 Ho-Ho buffet.

This weekend, believe it or not, was the first weekend I went "out" in St. Etienne. Well, technically I went to dinner with some teammates after one of our games a few weeks ago, but that kind of sucked, I'd give it a 4 on the L'AE chart. We were at a big table, and I didn't really talk to many people, and my best friends from the team didn't come so I was stuck with all of the kind of mean French girls. And a waiter spilled 10 glasses of kir all over us. Lame.

Anyway, back to this weekend. Saturday started out pretty well when my super cool French roommate Caroline invited me to come downtown and hang out in a cafe. Score! Totally L'AE!!! We spent more than 3 hours sitting outside at the Place Jean Jaures drinking appertifs and having conversations about life in France/life in America. Good times. I was speaking French and not sucking!

After our lovely afternoon out in the cafe, Caroline invited me to come with her to her friend's house for dinner. Like me, Caroline is new to St. Etienne, she moved here in March to do an internship for a few months. However, it turns out her cousin's girlfriend- Tiffany- is living here doing a PhD, so she kind of has an insta-friend. Very convenient.

Caroline's cousin also happened to be in town this weekend, so the four of us had a nice dinner at Tiffany's place. This gets a high rating on the L'AE meter- the food was great, and everyone was super cool and intelligent, so we had some "real" (ie. not crazy like the other night) discussions about politics and current events. A highpoint in the dicussion was when we realized that all high school world history class is the same: start with pre-historic man, touch on Egypt, do the Greece/Rome thing, MAYBE touch briefly on the Middle Ages before getting to World War I, spend some good time on World War II (don't forget the part where you make an impression about the Holocaust with gruesome pictures/movies for a week), and then rush through the rest of 20th century in one or two days. No mention of current events and recent history like apartheid, Rwanda, Somalia, Bosnia, and the Israeli/Palestinian crisis. Glad to know it isn't just the United States.

At around midnight, we cleaned up the table and decided to head out in search of a bar or pub where we could continue our insightful conversation. We walked around downtown for about forty minutes, and the town seemed totally dead. I couldn't believe it was a Saturday night and the streets were silent. Finally, not far from my place, we found a little bar called "Le vol du nuit" (night flight), directly across the street from this stunning cathedral.

Walking into the bar, it was like falling down the rabbit hole in Alice in Wonderland. The silent, peaceful streets (and shining Cathedral) were replaced by a loud "hopping" bar that apparently was themed around sex. Huge posters depicting vivid sexual acts plastered the walls, and the drink menu (which, by the way, had no explanations) contained drinks with sexual names. It was an amusing conversation when one of the French people went through the menu to explain to me what all of the different drinks meant, my sexual vocabulary not being up to snuff (not sure why they didn't teach "blowjob" in AP French).

We tried to ask the bartender what the different drinks were, but her patience was limited (big shock, she was French). She told us "it's an adventure, just choose something." I ended up taking what looked like the house specialty, a "tumulc" which turned out to be delicious! It was SUPER strong, and I was afraid I'd hit the floor after three sips, but it was yummy (peach and apple blended with their secret lethal alcohol mix). On top of the interesting atmosphere, the drinks were pretty cheap and very good.

My favorite part of the evening was that the bar didn't really close. Last call was around 1am (bars close around 1am here), so they locked the door, turned off the outside lights, pulled down the gate/cage thing in front of the doors/windows, and just left everyone inside. At around 3am, we decided to leave, and in order to exit the building had to climb up a ladder into the attic, sneak through a secret hallway and down a back stairwell. When we finally arrived back on the street, it was silent. Looking at the front of the building, all dark and locked up, you would never guess there were still 40 people sitting inside having a good time. Hilarious.

Overall I give this a 8 on the L'AE chart. It was a pretty damn good time, although fairly tame. Nothing too wild, despite the scandalous surroundings of the bar.

I was pretty pleased with myself that I was able to spend the entire day speaking French with a bunch of French people, and fully participating in the social interaction. I didn't feel like an outsider at all, even if occasionally they had to explain something to me. I hope there are more days like this, I just wish it hadn't taken all of this time to happen!

L'auberge Twilight Zone

I think I have mentioned "L'auberge Espagne" in many of my posts since arriving in France. In case you are not familiar with this film, I will explain briefly what it is, and then insist that you go see it. It is one of my favorite films of all time, and up until I moved to France, every time I watched it, it made me want to run away to Europe. Now that I live in France, it makes me want to run away to Barcelona, where apparently, life is much MUCH cooler than France.

The principle plot in the movie is that this French guy moves to Barcelona for a year as part of the Erasthmus program (the EU student exchange program). Basically, his entire perspective on life changes as a result of his amazing experience. He lives in a cool apartment (ie. the "auberge" which roughly translates to student apartment/hostel) with 4 other foreign students, and spends his days hanging out, "learning Spanish" (the same way I am "learning French"), having adventures with other foreigners, and basically just living the coolest life ever in Barcelona.

Anyway- whatever you do, see this movie. Just be aware that there is a high risk of wanting to pack your bags and run away to Barcelona right away.

Basically, this movie was the foundation on which I built my European Dream. I wanted to live la vie "l'auberge Espagne," eating dinners with my international friends and spending days in cafes and nights in the cool bars, having intelligent and amusing conversation.

Well, tonight, I had what could be described as more of a "L'auberge Twilight Zone" experience. Allow me to set the scene:

I am living with three girls in my apartment, one of whom is French, a second who is never there but is reportedly Senegalese or something, and a third who is Romanian but speaks only Spanish. Not bad, on paper it has the makings for an interesting place to live.

Caroline, the French girl, has the room next to mine and she is very cool. We "talk" often (or rather, she talks to me in rapid French and I nod along/laugh when it seems appropriate and act like I understand) and usually eat together if we are both in the house at night. The Romanian/Spanish girl, Carmen, is gone for days at a time for her work, but is around occasionally, definitely more than the Senegalese girl who I've only seen twice. However, given that I speak no Romanian or Spanish, and she speaks no English or French, our "conversation" involves speaking several languages until one of the words get recognized by the other. Slightly tragic.

Anyway, back to this evening. Somehow the three of us (Caroline, Carmen, and myself) all ended up talking in the kitchen (we have no living room in our apartment and the small kitchen table is the only communal area besides the bathroom). Firstly, I only speak English and French, Caroline speaks French and some Spanish, and Carmen speaks only Spanish with a smattering of random English. Thus, all conversations are held through Caroline, who speaks in Spanish with Carmen, then translates to me in French.

Somehow we get on the topic of John Kennedy. How, I don't really know, but Carmen (who, by the way has never been the US), goes on a rampage about how the US secretly gives tons of money to the Vatican, and that this is why JFK was assassinated. At which point we jump off into the fun world of discussing religion and politics.

The conversation got RIDICULOUS. For four hours, Carmen (who I take it is a VERY religious person) went on and on about religion in America and how great it is. Of course I couldn't resist the opportunity to steer the discussion toward prayer in schools, gay marriage, "intelligent design" and those weird (not that I'm judging) churches that use rattle snakes in their rituals when they're not writhing around on the floor speaking in tongues. I also enjoyed invoking scenes from the Jesus Camp documentary to illustrate my points, which thankfully Caroline had seen, and we had a good laugh in French about the fact that America will someday be taken over by fundamentalists.

My favorite part of the evening was that Carmen and I could not debate by ourselves, it was necessary to go through Caroline for the translation from Spanish to French and then back again. Caroline was thoroughly amused, and the two of us were rolling on the floor laughing when the conversation kept coming back to the US and our secret ties to the Vatican. Oh yeah, that and the fact that all of the most intelligent people in America are European. And if they don't come directly from Europe (she was saying that we import all of the smart people from Europe because we don't have any of our own), they are at least European descendants. I found myself in a place too ridiculous to even debate, and could only laugh.

So much for L'auberge Espagne. At least this UN-style multilingual debate was more exciting than watching downloaded American TV, but certainly not as stimulating I was hoping for.

I didn't even know what to say about JFK- come to think of it, I didn't really have a counterpoint to Carmen's idea because all that came to mind was conspiracy theory, which doesn't translate really well, or sound very intelligent. Random act of violence? Doesn't quite have the flair of a secret mission by the Vatican to blackmail the US into giving more money. One point for Carmen.

The evening finished off in Caroline's room where the two of us discussed Bush and Sarkozy, and the future of our countries, the war on terror, and the rising costs of food in the middle east. Not a bad way to end a VERY bizarre evening.

Any thoughts on the JFK assassination? I'm prepared to discuss Iraq, September 11th, foreign policy, and the current elections, but I was not on my game for JFK. Will take suggestions for any future debates, feel free to leave comments!

Quarter life crisis

As usual, I have neglected my blog for months on end. Seriously though, I have a good excuse- no internet. FINALLY, today, months and months after my arrival, I have procured internet chez-moi.

So, that is my excuse. Because somehow, I can't sit down and write my blog unless 1) I am alone in my room and no one is bothering me and 2)I am actually connected to the blogger site (not sure why, but the words just don't seem to flow when I'm writing in Word, I think it makes me feel like I'm writing something for school). It also helps to be wired on sugar and caffeine, which happen to be abundant in my room.

Anyway- here is my massive update. In January I moved to St. Etienne (a former mining town outside of Lyon on the East coast of France, 1.5 hours from Geneva) to play with a new team after months and months of paperwork issues in Montpellier. Basically, I never got my "carte de sejour" saying I was a legal resident in France, so I couldn't play. Also, the club never had an international player so they did not know how to help me navigate the paperwork issues. So, I signed up with a new team, in a higher division, with a bunch of international players and a president who seemed keen to have me and help me get settled.

I arrived in St. Etienne mid-January, and then proceeded to break my foot in three places on the second day of practice. Go me!! Or, as they say in French "trop fort." So, then I am the new girl and the injured girl at the same time. January through March I struggle with my broken foot and getting back on the court. Many of the French girls on the team remain bitchy and French, and do not care to integrate me into their social circle. Finally, I get ready to play and then find out that, as it turns out, the Tunisian girl and I have the same license ("E" classification license for international player) and we can't both play at the same time. Big disappointment. At least the foreign girls are cool, and invite me over to play card games and hang out.

I am rather unamused with the President for omitting this important piece of information, but I guess you live and you learn.

I am now at the point where I am trying to decide what to do with my life, not so much in the long term (I still have a grand vision for my future AFTER handball that seems safe and far away), but for next year. Part of me wants to stay another year in France and see things go more smoothly, another part of me is not sure I can do it again. It has been too hard.

The upside is, now I know the process. Having crashed into just about every single hurdle along the way, I can honestly say that it probably can't be worse. I know what to look for in a team, and what to avoid. I know that a good coach is more important than good weather, and that whatever I do, I better avoid teams with too many "special" licenses that limit playing time. As long as I play in France I will always have an "E" license, and can never play with another "E" license or with too many rookie players ("B" license) or international players. I also know that breaking your foot and having your wallet stolen SUCKS and will try to avoid that in the future.

We'll see. I'm staying open minded for the time being and trying to make it through the end of the season. As frustrating as it has been, I still must have come out with more than I came in; I learned some handball stuff, improved my French, and realized that I am a ridiculously stubborn person who refuses to give up. That being said, I find myself contemplating the fine line between "persistence" and "stupidity."

Anyway- today I had a conversation with my good friend Kathy, who is also living la vie Francaise and playing handball. Like me, she is struggling with her plans for next year. After all of the hardships of this season, it is hard to think of putting ourselves through this again. We were also disappointed to find out that our backup plan- the Air Force- may not be a very good back up plan. Apparently they aren't taking officers into training until 2010 or something. What am I supposed to do for the next year and a half? Get a "real" job? God forbid.

Thus, I have made a self-diagnosis (via Wikipedia) of Quarter-life crisis, or "QLC" as it is commonly known. See the following link for more info: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quarter_life_crisis

Of these symptoms, I suffer especially from the following:
* feeling "not good enough" because one can't find a job that is at one's academic/intellectual level
* confusion of identity
* insecurity regarding the near future
* insecurity concerning long-term plans, life goals
* insecurity regarding present accomplishments
* boredom with social interactions
* loss of closeness to high school and college friends
* financially-rooted stress
* loneliness
* desire to have children
* a sense that everyone is, somehow, doing better than you

I especially enjoy the last two. Although a child is far from practical or truly desired, I can feel my biological clock ticking and it worries me. Also, somehow, everyone IS doing better than me. Did I mention that I have been out of school for almost four years and I do NOT have a law degree or medical degree? I also do not own any furniture and do most of my shopping (which doesn't include the purchase of meat because chicken is too expensive) at discount food stores like Aldi and Lidl. Some of my friends have houses. I, like all students in France, take advantage of the French welfare system to defray the cost of a 9m2 apartment.

Missing from the QLC list is the following:
* insecurity relating to the fact that 95% of your friends are married or engaged and you are still ignoring text messages from sketchy french rugby players.
* stress related to the fact that next year you will be "over 25" and France will be twice as expensive unless you can find a suitable fake ID that says you are 23.
* lack of ability to communicate freely in French despite living in France almost 8 months and taking French classes.
* sense of impending doom when forced to make phone calls/answer your cell phone.

In summary, I am having a quarter life crisis. What happened to my European dream? Where is my Vespa and my cool European friends who want to spend the day in a cafe with me discussing films and politics? My life is not as "L'auberge Espagne" as I dreamed.

So, here I am, wondering if I should give it another chance...or if I should give up and realize that it is NOT easy to live alone in a foreign country without friends and family (and internet access, that has been the real killer). Do I have to "grow up" and get a "real job" and never ride down the Mediterranean coast on a Vespa to meet my cool international friends at the hottest tapas bar in town? That would be sad...but also mature.

Oh Quarter Life Crisis, what is your solution? I try to self-medicate you with chocolate and alcohol, but you do not go away, you suck my soul and make me feel inadequate. Damn you.